everything seems too late, i know whats helpless now.. the thing is i'm not the one that did nothing and wait and expect it to fall from the sky.. i did everything.. why is it impossible?? i already change.. cry myself to zzz, cry myself awake. i cant help to think of the happy time and our plans.. seriously i dont need what beautiful plans.. i just need to be with my loved ones. no grand weddings, expensive holidays, branded stuff.. everyone thinks i need them but i dont, if i have is a bonus if not i happy too.. but this isnt the case.. i gt pushed around. actually i had many photos not yet updated, but i dont feel like now, its all the happy moments.. our outings, our dogs, farm dogs, edmund bd................................................... some are even so sweet.. we were perfectly the day before then the next say we reached a point that cant be savaged.. its was very sudden to me, i really thought hes the one, very confident in him if not i wont bring him home, plan so much and spend so much time.. every morning i wake up crying that hes isnt mine anymore but im also thinking what can i do for him.. i know exactly whats happening and what should i do.. its hard and it takes time.. people around are trying to help me but im always looking excuse for him.. sorry everyone!! i dont blame him at all, it always takes two hands to clap and i know i always treated him badly till recently i changed, i realise im wrong but its too late.. but thats because i love him too much thats why im paranoid.. i didnt regret at all, everything was sweet to me even quarrels.. i love you junjie!!
now i got to think how to break the news to my family.
(maybe alot of you are laughing at me now, but i dont care.. i admit i'm the one that really need him)
*its a slim chance but at least theres chance..
* if miracle exsits show me one.. i need it badly.. any price im willing
i need you badly..
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